The central fora are a huge part of how we all interact with the School and each other. This page is intended to offer guidelines and etiquette to keep in mind when reading and posting on the fora – both your current module forum and the more general discussion areas.

Rules Never To Be Broken

Seriously. These aren’t guidelines, these are rules. They are not flexible. They are very important.

• What’s said on the forum stays on the forum. Do not under any circumstances republish anything written by someone else on the forum. Obviously you own your own material, but don’t talk about or post about other people’s posts anywhere outside the School.
• Don’t be a dick. You know what being a dick is. Don’t do that. Even when there’s conflict, be polite, give people the benefit of the doubt, and don’t call people names or otherwise be rude or cruel to your fellow students.

Guidelines and Suggestions

These are indeed just guidelines. They’re intended to be helpful, and to create a welcoming and supportive space where we can discuss personal issues with openness and vulnerability, but they’re not hard-and-fast rules like the above.

Own Your Stuff

Like Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor says: Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

Notice your emotional state when posting. Do you need to align? Maybe do the Rite of Unbinding?

Let Others Own Their Stuff

Don’t give advice unless it’s asked for. If you find yourself typing should, or you need, take a sec and rephrase. Did the person you replied to specifically ask for advice? You can post about your own related experiences, but don’t instruct or advise unless it’s requested.

Speaking of which:

Ask For What You Want

Sometimes when we post, we want particular kinds of responses, and don’t want other kinds. It’s really helpful to add something like this at the bottom of our posts to make that clear, since we’re online and don’t have body language and other cues to help make that clear.

It also helps people who want to respond to your post but are unsure about what kind of support or information you need. It can feel awkward when you want to reply to a deeply personal or otherwise significant post but aren’t sure what to say. Telling folks what you’re looking for can make your post more open to reply.

Some examples:

What I want: cheering! I’m really excited about this thing and would love it if y’all were excited too.

What I want: People to stomp with me about how frustrating this is! What I don’t want: super-sweet stuff (please don’t call me pet names, I’m too cranky right now!)

What I want: sympathy — this situation is the worst. What I don’t want: advice or “shoulds” or things like that. If you’re reminded of something similar that happened to you, I’d love to hear that story, though.

What I want: suggestions about how to solve this problem, helpful questions, etc.

Important! You don’t have to respond in a particular way someone wants if it doesn’t feel authentic to you. The “what I want” is an invitation, for clarity’s sake. If you don’t feel that way, or if you want to reply in a way included in the “what I don’t want,” just don’t reply.

Also, you don’t have to use this format, obviously. You can just put, “anyone got any advice?” at the bottom of your post, or whatever works for you.

Minimal Engagement is A-OK

Maybe your monthly check in is “still breathing” or your astral temple trip was “fell asleep trying to go” – that’s ok! Sharing that has worth in both having it witnessed for yourself, and for those witnessing where you are. Also, engagement with posts – by clicking the like button or a “I see you” or even a “nods” can be REALLY helpful as the forum medium can feel a little like shouting into the void.